It’s been ages. Funny thing: I’ve been really happy so I haven’t felt the need to write. I’ve been so busy on top of it, that finding the time to write has been another thing unto itself. And as I haven’t felt the need to get anything off my chest, to mull over, to analyse, I haven’t really felt any urgent need to spit it all out on this rather bizarre but lovely pubic forum.
Why so happy? You may ask. I seem to have figured it out. I don’t have any negative stress in my life at this moment (knock on wood!). I’m insanely busy, what between my internship at PMA and the film and video class and working on this costume project, and going to yoga, and researching for Israel, and writing my screenplay. And that’s just work. Then there’s my personal life which is really enjoyable at present. I’ve managed to shift my focus toward people who smoke pot. There’s my yoga instructor, with whom I have been spending a little time, enjoying food, conversation, joints and one another’s bodies. Hyper-sensual pleasure. I spent the other night with him, and it was just blissful.
Then there’s the friend of a friend with whom I’ve been spending a bit of time. Platonically. Although there may be something there. I like him a lot. I know that he likes me. That he likes me likes me. I’m not sure that pursuing this is necessarily a good idea, but I would like to spend time with him nonetheless. The friend warned me against it. Warned us. Told him that I’m trouble; told me that he has baggage, that I shouldn’t go there. But we all have baggage, and rather contradictorily, his telling me not to go there just makes it more enticing. Thing is, going there would be on a par with not really going there, because I’m not about to hop into anything serious with anyone.
Someone told me that summer is the time for lovers. I think I’ll agree with that. Love and happiness. That’s what I’m after.
