I was determined to be well-behaved and not stay out too late or drink too much. Somehow, trying to make these sorts of decisions before the night begins is not only futile, but counter-productive. It’s nights like last night, when I’m tired and don’t want to burn the proverbial candle at both ends that inevitably get the messiest.
Not that it was so very messy. It started with an innocent art opening, and turned into a belligerent night of local bars (and friendly free drinks) with various people. Rather than going home when I intended to, I ran into Asian Best Girl and the Catalyst’s best friend and Hilarious Coworker and ended up drinking with them. And if you’re trying to keep things sober, drinking martinis isn’t usually the wisest course of action. But I did have a fantastic night, and although rather hung over, I didn’t regret my lack of willpower when I woke up this morning.
Today was honestly one of the best days I’ve had in ages. I know it’s strange to say, but I feel oddly free. I’m ostensibly single for the first time in my adult life. I feel strangely released, and although it’s not that easy to let go of my propensity to think about other people’s needs all the time, right now I’m going to try to spend time just doing what I want to do. I need to be primary in my life for a change. And I think it’s a pretty damn exciting prospect. I went to yoga this morning, which was rough due to the excess alcohol streaming from my pores, but highly invigorating, and then had an absolutely uplifting brunch with Boris, during which we discussed all of our thoughts about positive energy and the changes that are taking place in the world, and I walked away just bubbling over. This was proceeded by a solid catch-up session with Hot Smart Girl, who always makes me happy, and then play rehearsal, which was also good.
Actually, I was feeling wonderful until now. At the moment I’m actually feeling a little edgy and I’m not sure why. I’m trying not to, but maybe it’s that I’m thinking a whole lot or maybe it’s that I’m not listening to myself. I have no idea. I do know that I’m going to most likely have a fabulous night tonight because work is going to be crazy and then I’ll hang out with HSG when we’re done and that’s always a spectacular time. Why am I like this again?
